Purple Summer- Sulley X Randall Part Three
~ ~ ~
Sulley was hurt, and Randall could tell. Not only because Randall was with Mike, but also because Mike's body language implied he was raped.
He walked off, leaving Randall to fend for himself over his actions on Mike.
Later, Randall saw Sulley, but the latter would not speak to him. Not that he should have: Randall realized, in retrospect, that it was an awful attempt of a plan.
Reluctantly, Randall followed him home, invisible because of feeling so terrible about it. When the hairy monster closed the door, Randall reluctantly revealed himself. Sulley was not happy to see him, and he wasn't surprised.
"I'm sorry," Randall started. "I thought you were trying to make me jealous, so I was trying to do the same."
Sulley said nothing, retaining a solemn face.
"I guess it was stupid for me to rape the one thing in between us, too. You can report me."
Sulley finally responded. "I'm sure Mike's doing that already."
An awkward silence broke out. Neither knew what to say over what had happened. Then Randall turned to leave. "Guess this is goodbye, then."
Only to be stopped by Sulley.
~ ~ ~
Randall watched with a broken heart as Sulley walked away from the scene. Randall had expected Sulley to push him out of the way and help his friend, but as he walked away, Randall realized he had gone into a state of shock. Randall didn't even try to stop him. He knew he couldn't have anyways. He only looked at Wazowski who was now a crumbled heap on the floor, reduced to a mere vegetable. Randall stepped away from what he had just done. 'What have I done?' he asked, holding his hands out. 'These hands! These hands! They're not mine!' Not mine!' He stumbled, sobbing, realizing what he had just done. 'Oh, you're gonna be wounded. Oh, you're gonna be my wound,' Randall told himself. 'Oh, oh, I'm gonna bruise you
oh, you're gonna be my bruise
oh, you're gonna be wounded alright, Randall Boggs!' And, without thinking, he found himself rushing down the hallways, with an unconscious Mike in his arms. He was ready to do the right thing for once
even if he had to turn himself in. It didn't matter where Sullivan had disappeared to
he would worry about that later. All he concentrated on was getting Mike to a hospital. Only a few remaining staff members (Jerry, Roz, Celia, Needleman and Smitty) had witnessed Randall Boggs disappearing out the front doors carrying a seemingly injured Michael Wazowski.
Afterwards, as he left the hospital in distress, he stood alone, haunted by a world of song, utterly distraught. Unable to shake the thoughts of what he had just done to Wazowski, he hounded his body with his hands, screaming to no one that he was ''NOTHING-!''
But now Randall stood at Sullivan's door, having followed him there, invisible to him
but he didn't expect his former lover to ever forgive him. ''I'm sorry,'' Randall told him as Sullivan closed the door behind him, and Randall appeared. The rest was all a blur. He only remembered turning to leave, bidding him goodbye, perhaps, forever, but Sullivan stopped him.
''Wait,'' he called out. Randall turned back towards him, optimistic for Sulley's forgiveness. ''I'll be willing to forgive you
'' he said, ''On one condition.'' Randall was listening. ''Promise me you'll NEVER hurt Mike like this EVER again
for whatever reasons.'' Randall nodded. It seemed fair enough. He never planned on hurting the kid again, anyways. After all, even though he intended to hurt Wazowski only, he ended up really hurting the only one he ever cared about
and himself. Randall swallowed hard on this thought, realizing he was actually feeling guilty over what he had just done. It was the first time Randall Boggs had any regrets over anything.
He should've known the plan would backfire from the start. But pure jealousy clouded his judgment. He should've known that having Wazowski move out would've been good enough for the both of them- but no. He wanted Mike gone completely. He wanted Sullivan to hate him and leave Mike for good but he just HAD to go and do a stupid thing like that-! He knew he was a fool to believe that Sullivan would be vulnerable enough to fall for that trap, leading him to believe Wazowski had seduced his lover when it was clear from the moment Sullivan laid eyes on them that it was Randall who was the guilty party! 'You idiot!' Randall shut his eyes to the force of his own voice inside his head. He felt the tears brimming at the corners. 'Why did you do it!?'
Sullivan seemed to be voicing the same thing, for he asked the exact question out loud the minute it crossed Randall's mind. Randall looked up, wiping away his tears. The initial pain in Sullivan's eyes was now replaced with both confusion and sympathy. Seeing Randall's upset state, he tried to come forward and take him in his arms, but Randall resisted, as much as he wanted Sullivan to touch him right now. But it disgusted him, much to his surprise, that Sullivan would still love the very man who raped his best friend. As Randall coiled away, Sulley looked at him, hurt. But Randall was even more hurt. Hurt by the thought of Wazowski in the hospital with Sullivan only caring for his well-being, when it was Wazowski who was the one who was raped in the first place-! God, it felt as though Randall fucked himself in the ass. Randall would refuse to let Sulley continue loving him until he knew the full truth, as much as it pained Randall to do so.
''Let me explain,'' Randall began, taking a deep breath. ''First of all, it was wrong of me to lie.''
''What do you mean?'' he asked.
''I lied when I said I needed a place to stay.'' Off Sullivan's look, Randall reluctantly continued, ''I just
wanted to be close to you, that's all.'' Sulley tried to intervene but Randall talked over him, ''And I wanted him gone. I wanted to
sorta take his place.'' The tears started coming again. ''I wanted so much
to be him
that special someone
I not only wanted to be your lover
but your best friend, too. Your Soul Mate.'' He gulped. ''Your everything.''
'' Sullivan said, scratching the back of his neck. ''You already were that someone.''
Randall realized this, only after he attacked Wazowski. ''But it was still wrong! I- I- really didn't want to hurt you like this, Sullivan. I- it wasn't meant to happen this way. I didn't know
how much he really meant to you.''
''You mean a lot to me, too!''
''Let me finish,'' Randall said, a little too harshly. Sulley took the hint and shut it. ''By hurting Wazowski, I realize
I hurt a part of you. And I would never do anything to hurt a part of you
that one-half of you, no matter how much I hate it. '' He sighed. ''Look
'' Randall wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, his voice back in composure, his body back in control. ''You may not believe me, but I feel awful for what I did.'' He paused. ''I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel sorry for him. For Wazow- for Mike, I mean. For him having to suffer my wrath only because things weren't going my way
because I wasn't happy
I wanted you.'' Sulley's eyes were shivering. ''And truthfully, that's not entirely your fault. You didn't mean to
enjoy yourself with him. You're supposed to
he's your best friend, after all. And I was selfish. No one had to be unhappy and suffer only because I was suffering. Look, I don't care if you're friends with him. I don't care anymore. I just
love me, but don't love me too much.''
''I don't understand
'' Sulley was crying now.
''HE needs you right now. Probably more than I do.'' Another pause. It hurt to say this, but he had to. ''He's in the hospital right now. When he comes back, I think it's time for me to go.'' Sullivan was about to protest, but Randall stopped him, holding up a finger. ''Before you object, he needs a place to stay
a home. HIS home.'' Sulley shrank back a little. ''He can't room with Celia in the state he's in. He needs proper care
you know, he'll never be the same again, I hope you realize that. And that's my fault, okay? Because of that, I don't think it's right for me to stay here while he gets better. He needs to heal properly, without his rapist around to remind him of what he had just suffered. And besides,'' Randall shrugged his shoulders, ''Separating him from you at a traumatic time like this isn't what's going to be best for him right now, and you know it. The least I can do
is make things right again. Not just between you and me
but between the three of us. I know it's hard
for us both
but we have to get through this.'' Randall swallowed his tears. ''And I promise you from now on that he doesn't have to stand in our way. I realize now he never did to begin with.'' And with that, Randall sank to the floor on all four knees. ''Flip on a switch, and everything's fine- no more lips, no more tongue, no more ears, no more eyes. The naked blue angel, who peers through the blinds, disappears in the gloom of a mirror blue night.''
''But there's nowhere to hide from these bones, from my mind. It's broken inside- I'm a man and a child. I'm at home with a ghost, who got left in the cold. I'm locked out of peace, with no keys to my soul.'' Randall didn't even know what he was saying anymore
''Randall, please listen to me-!''
But he couldn't listen. He could only speak to stop the pain, ''And the whispers of fear, the chill up the spine, will steal away, too, with a flick of the light. The minute you do it, with fingers so blind, you remove every bit of the blue from your mind.''
But he couldn't stop. Not now. He was screaming, crying the words, ''But there's nowhere to hide, from the ghosts in my mind, it's cold in these bones- of a man and a child! And there's no one who knows, and there's nowhere to go, there's no one to see who can see to my soul!
And with that, Randall collapsed.
~ ~ ~
Sulley was terrible at interpretating messages from spoken or sung poetry, yet he was able to piece together Randall wanting them to abandon each other for good.
But Sulley didn't want to do that. Not only did he love him, even despite he raped his friend, but Randall was showing a side he had never seen before. Tears were still dripping out of his eyes while passed out, he was crying so hard. It was impossible to deny: he did regret his crime.
But it wasn't even Randall's remorse that got to him. The reptile was telling him to take care of Mike to help him through the trauma, yet Randall appeared to be going through the exact same mental state. If it were up to him, they would coexist at least without fighting all the time because he cared for both of them, Mike as a best friend, and Randall as a lover.
The screeching of brakes outside got him out of his thoughts. Outside, he saw Mike being escorted back into the building. He seemed fine, except for bandages on the are where Randall had ripped through.
'It's too late,' Sulley thought to himself. 'Randall won't have time to leave, and Mike will point the finger at him.'
Sure enough, shortly after his realization, Mike came in, walking oddly as a result of his damages. Sulley rushed to his side, but Mike flinched violently when Sulley tried to touch him. Sulley recoiled, startled, and looked down at his best friend who had, only a few hours before, been carefree and cracking jokes. Now he stood before him like a wounded animal, scared into silence. He seemed to be distant, however. The damages had clearly not only affected him physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.
Something was different, already. Mike noted Randall on the floor, but he did not show a look of fear or even hate towards him. As a matter of fact, he showed no sign of emotion at all. Sulley felt his heart already beginning to weep.
"He died apologizing, I take it?" Mike asked with a tone both a mixture of sarcasm and sadism.
"I think he's just unconscious, but he did apologize, yeah."
Mike looked down to his feet, stoic. "He didn't need to."
Sulley looked at him, shocked beyond belief. Mike never spoke with a lack of ego, before.
"I'm sorry?" he asked.
It was an effort to get the words, but at last, he succeeded, "While I was in the hospital, I was thinking about it a bit, and I realized: I deserved SOMETHING painful, at least. I had it coming with the way I was always trying to provoke him."
Sulley couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are you in a concussion? I've NEVER heard you talk like that about anything."
"I might be. But on the contrary, trauma does cause a person to change and, at least in my case, become aware of past horrors."
Sulley realized Mike was right. Despite of this fact, he didn't think Mike deserved any of what Randall delivered to him, anymore than Randall deserved being locked up for it.
An awkward silence caused them to notice Randall regaining consciousness.
~ ~ ~
Sullivan stood back, letting Mike be the first one for Randall to see when he opened his eyes. He looked neither shocked nor disgusted. He seemed almost peaceful, a serene look in his eyes. Mike's expression was nothing short of stoic, but he seemed not to return a look of mutual loathing. ''So, here you are-'' Randall spoke first. But Mike only stared. He seemed to be rendered incapable of speech at the moment. ''I'm not asking you to forgive me
'' Randall began. But the look in Mike's eye seemed to tell him otherwise.
Randall could barely speak anymore as he sat up slowly. Immediately, his eyes went to the bandages. A blood-stain seeped through the yellowish-white color. Randall tried to look away, but instead, his eyes found the scrapes between Mike's thighs. Whole chunks of skin were missing. Then Randall remembered
he sliced Mike's body on the metal edges of the toilet-roll holster. There were also cuts and bruises along his body. Randall's eyes darted upwards, until he found a single blue vein on Mike's left wrist. But there was something odd about its shape. The way it twisted and curved like a river up his arm. Then Randall realized
part of the vein extended into a long, jagged scar, as if someone had taken a shard of glass and sliced his lower fore-arm with the tip. But when Randall inspected closer from his safe distance, it suddenly dawn on him that someone ripped an IV out of his arm
it couldn't have been the doctors
Randall's eyes met that of Mike's, and it was a knowing only between the two of them- that Mike had done this to himself. He knew Mike would only do it to escape the pain.
Randall doubled over and regurgitated right there on the carpet of their living room.
Sullivan rushed to his side, just as Mike collapsed on the floor as well. ''Shit-!'' Sullivan cursed, leaving Randall for a moment to lift Mike in his arms. Randall, done being sick, stood up on shaky knees. Sullivan looked to him, wanting to help, but realized his hands were full.
''I'll be fine, Sullivan,'' Randall assured him. ''Don't worry about me. Just take care of him, first.'' Sullivan nodded and disappeared in one of their bedrooms. Randall leaned over, catching a glimpse of Sulley gently laying Mike on the bed through the doorframe. While Sulley was occupied with that, Randall struggled to the kitchen, and got a few rolls of paper towels and OXY Clean to scour his own mess up. He kneeled down, starting to scrub the carpet with all his might, just when he felt Sullivan's robust hands over his, taking away the cleaning supplies.
''Go lay down in my bed,'' he instructed. ''I'll take care of this.''
Randall was about to protest, but realized how dizzy he actually was. Mentally thanking his lover, he made his way to Sullivan's bedroom, passing Mike's just next door. He stopped, took one look at the sleeping eyeball before shuffling his way to Sullivan's bed. The minute he hit the bed sheets, his world had darkened.
Randall didn't remember a thing when he woke up. All he remembered was brief flashes of Sullivan answering his door, himself screaming and crying, and a large scar on Mike's left forearm. He shook his head, trying to piece his thoughts together just when he heard a scream coming from the bedroom next door. Randall didn't even have time to think about where he was. He just bolted out of bed- before realizing it was Sullivan's- and ran wherever. An invisible string seemed to draw him to the bedroom on the other end of the hall. He hesitantly pushed the door open, and slowly creeped in, then stopped dead at the sight.
There was Sullivan, screaming at the side of the bed, shaking an unresponsive Mike. The boy only sat there, staring into space, his eye devoid of any emotion he could render. He was like a porcelain doll, enclosed in tin.
Mike could no longer speak.
It was days before Randall came to the conclusion that the kid had a break-down. And he had himself to blame.
''No, no!'' Sulley said, shaking his head in denial. ''It's not your fault!''
''Of course it is! He was fine when he came home until he saw ME!''
''He told me he forgave you!''
Randall stopped. ''Even still
'' he leaned onto his lover. ''The very sight of me was too much for him to bear. I knew this was going to happen
I told you that things would be better if I were gone.''
'' Sulley whispered as he took his love's weeping face between the warm palms of his hands. ''Don't say that, my love.''
But Randall knew Sulley was only trying to make him feel better. He returned his embrace, but then snapped back, pushing him away and slamming the apartment door closed behind him. Randall walked the city streets all day, and all night, pondering his thoughts on how to bring Mike back
and reincarnate his relationship with Sulley. But having nowhere else to go, he returned to the apartment much to Sulley's delight.
''I thought you left.''
''Me too,'' Randall said as he sank in his lover's arms.
Days passed. Mike wasn't getting any better. His excessive absences at work were taken care of, however, being excused with valid doctor's notes. Even still, Sulley was generous enough to make frequent trips down to the factory and collect Mike's overdue paperwork. He even took the time to fill them out every night and turn them in the next morning. Every day as he returned home, he bombarded Randall with stories about how the company was buzzing with rumors, as a result of Sulley's vow of silence. Rumors about Mike's condition and the connection to Randall, who had not shown up at work since the day he left the lobby with Mike in his arms. Randall couldn't listen to this bullshit anymore, however, and only concentrated on helping Sulley revive Mike. But Mike wasn't coming back
And so Sulley made his decision to return him to the hospital. ''What?'' Randall asked, furious. ''So they could throw him in some loony bin!? Sulley, fuck that shit! He needs to be HERE right now! You can go back to work to pay the rent, I'll take care of him!''
''He's not making any progress!''
''Then I'll leave.''
''No.'' Sulley said firmly.
''Stay, and he'll go get proper care at an institution.''
''What, so you can fuck me while they're giving him the shocks?''
Sulley sighed. ''Look, I don't know what else to do! The guys are pestering me at work, the house is raided with phone-calls from Celia! People are wanting answers! They want to know what happened! Randall, we can't hide him away forever. He needs professional help!''
Randall looked back through the doorframe across the room, to see that Sulley was right. Mike had not moved from his spot on the bed since the day he shut down. Everyday, he only sat there, either in bed or on a chair, staring out the window, refusing to eat, to sleep
to speak. If they kept him here, it might drive him crazier.
Soon, Randall gave in with much reluctance. The hospital came the following week to take him away, as Sulley and Randall glumly watched.
If the hospitals were able to bring him back, then maybe, just maybe, Randall would get his chance to apologize properly
and earn the forgiveness he didn't expect to earn.
In the meantime, he had to fix his and Sulley's relationship
and try to piece back together their broken hearts.
End of Part Three.
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